Emotionally Immature Adults
Feeling unseen or unheard by others can have a deep impact on hew we show up in the world. It leads to emotional loneliness, which is difficult to describe. It could feel like you are alone in the world, don’t fit in, are too much (or not enough) or simply feeling empty inside.
It typically also impairs on your sense of purpose.
Another outcome of being raised by emotionally immature caretakers is that you might feel like nobody will like you for who you really are. You might think that you must fulfill certain conditions or be a certain way that always puts others first.
Feeling unseen or unheard by others can have a deep impact on hew we show up in the world. It leads to emotional loneliness, which is difficult to describe. It could feel like you are alone in the world, don’t fit in, are too much (or not enough) or simply feeling empty inside.
It typically also impairs on your sense of purpose.
Another outcome of being raised by emotionally immature caretakers is that you might feel like nobody will like you for who you really are. You might think that you must fulfill certain conditions or be a certain way that always puts others first.
Feeling unseen or unheard by others can have a deep impact on hew we show up in the world. It leads to emotional loneliness, which is difficult to describe. It could feel like you are alone in the world, don’t fit in, are too much (or not enough) or simply feeling empty inside.
It typically also impairs on your sense of purpose.
Another outcome of being raised by emotionally immature caretakers is that you might feel like nobody will like you for who you really are. You might think that you must fulfill certain conditions or be a certain way that always puts others first.
Your absent or emotionally immature caretakers might be extremely defensive and deflect responsibility when you try to talk to them about something they did or didn’t do (now or when you were a child), even when the complaint is minor, innocent, or seemingly insignificant. This is because they have a strong tendency to label people as good or bad. Any criticism is met with extreme reactions like:
“Well, then, I must be the worst parent ever!” or “So your mess is all my fault, I get it, it’s always the parents’ fault” or they might shut down altogether and give you the cold shoulder, just to avoid feeling like a “bad” person.
These types of caretakers can cause loneliness and emotional insecurity in children. The tend to be self-involved, insensitive, and emotionally unreliable. They lack attunement to the emotional needs of the child. Quite often they get too involved or not involved at all with their children, which can lead to parentification (parent-child role reversal) and expose the child to overwhelming adult issues. Because they have a poor tolerance for frustrations, they use tactics or threats rather than verbal communication to have their demands and wants fulfilled. They tend to be egocentric and have limited capacity for genuine emotional intimacy.
The result is that the child ends up losing her sense of self and becomes hypervigilant to attune to the caretakers needs, in order to stay safe and/or create or maintain a relative state of harmony. In order to do that, the child has no choice but to deny her own needs and interests, because she knows better than to be visible or attract attention. This is where codependency and people-pleasing behavior take root. This is also where a child has difficulty establishing clear boundaries: “Where do I begin? Where do they begin? What is mine and what is theirs?”
Table of Contents:
Connection vs Dependence
How This Shows Up In Adult Relationships
Recognizing Emotionally Mature People
Let’s dig in
Emotional Neglect
MY JOURNEY
MY REACTION
TAKING CHARGE OF MY LIFE
It's Okay To Feel...
TODAY I'M FEELING... (EMOTIONAL VOCABULARY – WHEN NEEDS ARE NOT BEING MET & EMOTIONAL VOCABULARY – WHEN NEEDS ARE BEING MET)
UNDERSTANDING MY FEELINGS
Your Desires Matter
MY DESIRES
GAINING PERSPECTIVE
Nurture Yourself
COMFORTING WORDS
INSPIRATION BOARD
If you are working through the aftermath of an abusive relationship with a toxic or narcissistic partner, please go to my website for helpful resources in on this subject.
You can find free resources as well as online programs on www.openmindcoachvee.com. If you want to reach out for 1:1 coaching, book a call through same website in the online calendar. I look forward to meeting you there!