Resources
Resources
This is a place where you can start if, for whatever reason, a coaching program is not an option for you right now. Some will require a small investment of money, most will not. All will require your time, effort and sometimes an open mind. A question I often ask my clients is: what is the first tiny step you could take to get closer to your goal? If you are a survivor of narcissistic abuse or a toxic relationship, then you can find your first tiny step in this section. Make it count!
This section is updated regularly - come back any time…
Know your coach - my story
After I got out of my last relationship with a narcissist, I started obsessing about the topic of narcissism in order to make sense of it all. In 2019 I wrote a book about my experiences, retracing my steps. Here you can read all about my personal quest, get into my head and learn how I managed to climb back up after I hit rock bottom. Between approval of the last version and the book going into print, I suffered 2 massive heart attacks. A few days after I got out of the hospital, my beloved mother passed. It is at that moment that I decided to go back to school to get a degree in coaching, so that I could help others heal and thrive beyond their horrid experience, help them close the gap and guide them over the bridge I carefully and painstakingly constructed from my personal experiences, the massive research and newfound techniques to deliver it to as many people as possible. I decided there and then that I would make a difference before leaving this life.
Get it here
Another Minced Meat Year - Dorrance Bookstore (dorrancepublishing.com)
Create an escape plan first before leaving an abusive marriage
Abusive spouses often make it difficult to leave a relationship. It is important to create an escape plan before seeking a divorce from an abuser. Domestic violence is a problem that affects millions of people in Virginia and across the United States. It may be difficult to get a divorce from a person who is abusive, but there are resources and organizations that may be able to help. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, violence against an intimate partner makes up about 15 percent of all violent crimes in the country. It is estimated that one out of every three women will experience abuse at the hands of her partner at some point during her lifetime. Over 10 million people every year become victims of domestic violence. Those who are planning on ending a marriage in which abuse was a factor will need to formulate their escape carefully.
Access here
Create an escape plan first before leaving an abusive marriage | Bowen Ten Long & Bal, PC | Richmond, Virginia (btclawva.com)
Psychopath Free - Jackson MacKenzie
This author is a fellow survivor of narcissistic abuse. This book gives a clear overview of what it is to live with a narcissist and how to break free and thrive again after going through the ordeal. The link below goes to the library where you can purchase the book, but you can browse other tabs in the website to engage in a forum, or you can fill out a questionnaire to determine whether or not you’ve been (or are) involved with a psychopath. Jackson MacKenzie has since written another book - Whole Again. I haven’t read it yet, but I’ve seen good reviews, so I’ll let you make up your own mind.
Access here
Bookshelf | Narcissist, Sociopath, and Psychopath Abuse Recovery (psychopathfree.com)
Will I ever be good enough? - Karyl McBride, Ph.D.
A very valuable book about maternal narcissism towards their daughters and how these dynamics play out for the child growing up to be a woman. A must-read for daughters of narcissistic mothers.
Access here
Will I Ever Be Good Enough
Safe Relationships Magazine - Women who love psychopaths
Sandra L. Brown describes the narcissistic manipulations and how women are love-bombed into a relationship and how they are being hooked, making it virtually impossible to break free. She explains in a clear manner why a break-up with a narcissist is in no way comparable with the usual heartbreak after a normal relationship ends. This is a great read for both survivors of narcissistic abuse and their loved ones.
Access here
Women Who Love Psychopaths – 3rd. Ed. - e-book | (saferelationshipsmagazine.com)
Why does he do that?
This book from domestic violence counselor Lundy Bancroft helps women equip themselves with the ability to protect themselves both physically and psychologically against manipulative men. It is explicitly addressed to women as victims, with men as the abusers, which makes it somewhat of a hard read, especially taking into account that men can just as easily fall into the traps of a female abuser. But if you are able to keep an open mind while reading this extensive research, which also hands targeted tools, then this is a valuable read.
Get it here
Amazon.com: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (8601300264479): Bancroft, Lundy: Books
Knowing the narcissist
HG Tudor is a self-proclaimed narcissist who gives a clear insight in how the narcissist thinks and why he does the things that he does. I have gotten great insights from reading his articles and listening to his audios. I’m aware that not everybody likes his style, but I advise you to just give it a try and then decide whether or not you want to learn from him.
Access here
HG Tudor - Knowing The Narcissist - The World's No.1 Resource About Narcissism - Know everything about narcissists from the world's no.1 source. A narcissist himself. (narcsite.com)
Free the self - Marshall Burtcher
Marshall Burtcher is a survivor of narcissistic abuse. You could call him a competitor of mine, but every coach is unique (just like you are unique) and we have a different approach and different talents. Also: there are so many people who need help, this section is all about getting you the help you need so desperately, not about reeling in clients. I like his style a lot, he is a kind, caring and giving person and I - and many more - can relate to him easily. You can access his website and programs in the link below.
Access here
Welcome To Happiness After Codependecy - E - Free The Self
Codependents Anonymous - CoDa Recovery program
This organization provides 12-step programs and meetings for people dealing with co-dependency.